metaphoricallove

Absolutely no one asked for this, but I am going to share it anyway – because you and I share a telepathic connection, and I can sense that you’re dying to read these riveting answers.

Just kidding; I’ve had to write about myself (a lot) lately: What I like, what I hate, who I am, where I work, what I do, where I went to school – what I want.

It’s been an incredibly jarring experience, to say the least….And so, to lighten the mood, I’m doing this N.F.A.Q (also helpful for new Vsco pals who may have joined me over the past year – welcome!) Let’s get started with the basics:

What’s your name?

I may never answer this, simply because of the nature of my life outside of the internet (yes, my day job). But, I’m certain that if you scour my blog, you’ll find the answer to this somewhere. Some of you may already know the answer to this, in which case – skip ahead! The rest of you: Bonne chance!

How old are you?

I’m 28 – I am frightened, I am simultaneously 8 and 85, I do not know what time is. And I turn 29 in September – what was the question?

All things photography: Do you consider yourself a photographer?

This is one that I do get asked often, and so….Let’s break it down.

What’s a photographer? Someone who takes pictures with a camera? If so – then yes, I’d consider myself a photographer.

But, if your definition of a photographer hinges on technique, knowledge, and precision – I couldn’t be further from a photographer. I am simply a woman who enjoys taking pictures of things, and detests rules (unless they interest her).

Lately, I’ve been trying to figure out how to get sharper results with my camera; and so, I’ve been doing my homework on shutter speeds and different aperture settings. I am going to follow these rules, because I need to. Because I want to. Because I took beautiful shots in Spain that I couldn’t use simply because they were too blurry, and that was a very frustrating experience for me. I learn rules when I need them, I learn things by doing them – so maybe, one of these days, I’ll morph into a photographer. Does that make sense?

I do consider myself an editor (colour grading? I’m your girl. Bringing beauty out of nonsense? All me. Finding stories where others may not see them? Also all me).

What camera do you use? What lens? What editing tools?

Can I be so honest with you right now? It really doesn’t matter. I’ve been sharing pictures here since 2017, right? Back then, I was working with a half broken iPhone 7, and I managed just fine. I hadn’t invested in a DSLR (my Canon) up until two years ago.

It’s not the lens, it’s not the camera – it’s what you see, and how you choose to showcase it to the world, I know I know I know – that sounds so cheesy. But it’s true! I urge you to take pictures with whatever camera you may have on hand right now, find stories in your shots – crop, angle, play with colour grading, play around with highlights and shadows and all that jazz.

You don’t even have to Google what each concept means, by the way – this is an exact reenactment of how I taught (& how I continue to teach) myself stuff:

Moving the temperature scale back and forth on a specific image, left and right, left and right – with my eyes fixed on the image itself.

Me (after twenty consecutive minutes of doing this): I think this thing makes my pictures more or less yellow – neat. Now I know what temperature does.

That said: Do I just slap filters on my pictures and call it a day? No. I use Adobe Lightroom in conjunction with Vsco filters – that’s a really long answer to what could’ve been a short one-liner. But you aren’t here for one-liners now are you?

What motivates you to keep this blog going?

I enjoy documenting my cognitive decline.

Terrible joke, not much of a joke.

In all seriousness, you – you motivate me to keep it going. You being here? Reading this? Magical. I love the unique space that we’ve created for ourselves, we can’t interact – not via conventional means, anyway – and yet, you and I connect on a level that’s far deeper than anything I’ve experienced so far, and that makes it all worthwhile for me.

Many of you have grown up with me, our shared experiences deserve continuity, don’t you think?

Unless you’re bored of me (booooooo!)

Who are you outside of this? Personal life stuff….

I’m intentionally vague about these things, usually – but this is an N.F.A.Q. We may as well disclose some fun stuff:

I am a writer (note – writer, not grammatical whiz / editor – I have wonderful, talented friends, who take care of this for me).

“Where can I find your stuff? I googled your name and noth-”

You may never find it. I may take my secret identity to the grave with me. And I think I’ll stop elaborating on this point right here.

Outside of that, though – I’m also in management, and I’ve been a corporate drone since I was 22-23-ish. Although, I’ve been working for far longer than that, I got my first field relevant gig at 21.

I got into this line of work because I wanted to give people jobs – seriously, that’s it. I wanted to talk to people, and to hear the joy / relief in their voices when I delivered the good news. My naïveté was overpowered via the first criminal background check I ever ran. Therapist appointments were booked, and I got a holistic picture of what my job -actually- entailed outside of the fluff.

So that’s – work stuff.

I have friends, I have a family, I am in close proximity to both – and I’m eternally grateful for them.

Let me be the first to state: I am not an easy person to deal with, this is not a self-depreciating ‘woe is me’ moment, it’s a fact. I get moody, I get restless, I swing drastically between having all of the energy and none of the energy. Worst of all is my tendency to self-isolate, I need my space when I need it, and I’ve never been graceful enough to justify/rationalize my disappearances (some of which have lasted for years).

My friends and family have been incredibly accommodating of my quirks over the years, not all of us are this fortunate – and so, I take my wins where I can get them.

You have also been incredibly accommodating; when I withheld my words for nearly three years, I was certain that I’d come back to crickets here….But, you gave my thoughts the warmest welcome they’ve ever received, and I’m eternally grateful for that. I mean it. Thank you for staying.

My romantic relationship status is irrelevant, you and I have far more interesting things to discuss don’t you think? For example….

What does a successful (non-platonic) relationship look like for you?

We plan a heist and succeed, we didn’t need the money, we did it purely for the adrenaline, and we totally got away with it (also we’re both secretly spies and we have an awesome fighting montage in the kitchen that makes us look incredibly attractive, and you write letters to me and I keep them all, and we’re friends but we morph into more and we’re the exceptions and you hold me on a sinking ship, you have to die – but it’s okay, because I end up with this wicked emerald necklace, and every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you that is how I know you GOOOO ON) – just kidding. Just kidding.

I don’t know. I really don’t.

I’m slightly old fashioned, unfortunately sensitive, and I’m a romantic.

Growing up, I wasn’t raised in a community that held individualistic beliefs; but rather, a community that approached all things from a collectivist lens. This is important, because at my core – I’m an individualist, through and through (maybe I’ve always been one, maybe I morphed into one over time – let’s save that debate for another occasion). I also recognize the importance of maintaining a collectivist perspective / approach (for what? For nearly everything in life) – so I find myself torn, often. Torn between what’s expected, and what I truly believe (which I still don’t know), and what I’d like to carry forward. Does that make sense?

Why am I sharing this? Because seemingly nonsensical things like these do impact the kind of partner you attract, how you foster your relationship, how you raise your children (should you choose to have any); all of it matters, and none of it matters at the same time.

Religion is also a big factor, for a lot of folks – and I respect that. I am private about my faith; I’ll likely never feel comfortable discussing my religious beliefs in someone’s living room or around the dinner table; in fact, I often find myself feeling awkward amidst such discussions. Collecting points for being “good”, and carrying these points like valued currency in social scenes – it’s a practice that never resonated with me. Positive reinforcement has its place, and I can understand the appeal but – I think I’d like to stop discussing this now, I’m rambling.

Why did I bring this up in the first place? Right – what does a successful relationship look like for me?

Ideally, I’m with someone who understands my complex relationship with faith, and who is open to / accepting of this – not someone who hopes that one day, I’ll morph into something that I am not; or worse, someone who hopes that with enough positive reinforcement I’ll “come around.” This applies (concurrently) to potential religious & non-religious partners.

This is important.

This is tricky.

This is delicate.

On that note, let’s switch to a lighter topic

Vsco tangents! Why do these always get deleted? Who are you addressing? Why do you treat Vsco like Twitter sometimes (or X, now, I suppose?)

! Because Vsco is primarily supposed to be for photography, because my tangents make the space look messy – because the whole reason behind me creating this blog was to avoid exactly that – and yet….I continue to post my tangents on Vsco.

I am addressing you, always, of course.

I treat Vsco like X because I never treated X like X – hope this helps.

Do you have a muse?

Of course I do, it’s you, it’s always you.

Will you review my resume for me?

I will not, but I reckon that Chat GPT will do a far better job for you than I ever could, you just need to ask it the right questions. I’ll help you with interview prep, though (it’s a common request that I’ve received over the years; always happy to help, no I don’t charge anything, and no I’m not trying to start a small business, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just paying it forward). Speaking of small businesses….

Is this space monetized? Do you make money from affiliate links or recommendations or photography or …

No. No. No. Never. This space exists just for fun, and it’s highly unlikely that I’ll ever look at monetizing it – the words in my brain need an outlet, you need….Well, whatever it is that you get from this space, so voila – this space exists. I don’t need to monetize anything (+ that would take away all the magic).

This does not mean that there’s anything wrong with monetizing these spaces! We all need to be fiscally responsible, I have my methods, you have yours; but neither of these methods have anything to do with my blog, okay? So if I link anything here (as I did with my Spain post), it’s for my reference as much as it is for your general knowledge (I don’t want to forget!)

So – yay for authenticity, but also – I can’t guarantee that our tastes will always align.

Last year, you were very private and careful not to overshare. What has changed to make you more open now?

Well – I’m medicated, for starters (yay!)

I like to keep you on your toes.

I’m riding the wave, and I’ve perfected the art of sharing everything and sharing absolutely nothing at the same time.

But also – around this time, last year, I was just finding my way out of a significantly difficult period of my life (one that had lasted for nearly three years, and one that was getting progressively more intense / scary as time went on); I know, yikes.

I say ‘finding my way out’ with caution, here, because I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of the blues entirely. I’m just continuously learning to coexist with them (as I imagine most of us are).

But also – let us not forget that I promised you I’d be back, and I’m not one for breaking my promises. I imagine that I would’ve returned even if I hadn’t found my way out of that emotional space, although – my content may have been slightly less humorous in the conventional sense, and more entertaining in a ‘dark and twisty’ sense.

Why do you never share pictures of your face?!

Edit: July 19, 2024

Here

How many languages do you actually speak, and how much of this is just pretence?

Three! I’m fluent in Urdu and English (reading, writing, speaking). Intermediate in French (v. proud of this one, actually, bc it wasn’t easy! Again, reading, writing, speaking). Will I pick up a fourth? Maybe, after I become fluent in French.

Can I connect with you on (Linkedin / Instagram / Vsco etc); would it be weird if I were to send you a message?

Never hesitate to reach out to me via any avenue ever (unless I’ve distinctly advised you that I do not want to connect with you, or I’ve ignored your attempts at connecting with me in the past; please respect these decisions, and do not bombard my inbox / phone).

Otherwise, I am open, and I’m always happy to chat (although, I may be slower to respond – I have my notifications muted for basically everything on my phone – Vsco, Whatsapp, Messages, Gmail, etc ; this often gets me into trouble, but thats not really a shocker). This is a good place to stop.

As for this N.F.A.Q – I think I may leave it up here, and update it as time goes on, and newer questions come in. I’ve done these before on Vsco, but they always get buried in my posts, don’t they?

If you’ve read this far – there’s a man with 1,000 + children in the world (wild, I know); he started off in Australia, and then he made his way to Mexico, and the States, and even Canada! You may have 500 + half siblings walking around the world of whom you’re unaware, dun.dun.dun!!!! This may be a good time to connect with the parental unit.

Have a good one.

Xo,

M